Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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