Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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