All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
