i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
