Where is the hickey?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
