she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
