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I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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