You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
