Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
