I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
thus making me awesome and them whores
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
