I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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