so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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