i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So apparently I’m into choking now
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize