i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
