He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
