We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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