I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
