ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
