I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
