i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
