told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
