I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
