I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
