u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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