I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
