Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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