I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
