I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
