i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
