im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
