I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
