Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
