My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
