He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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