we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
