So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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