If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
In America we eat man semen.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
