If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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