No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
