I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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