Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
