super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
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