Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
