The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
