it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
