You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
