so that wasnt chicken after all
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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