jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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