Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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