I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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