A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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