It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
